The Garbage Isn't Going In Our Yard Russ, It's Going In Our Living Room

Wow, i think everyone on TV got together and decided to have the most fucked up season in the history of whatever show they were working on. Its out of control. TV should never feel stressful to watch. Dexter, Hoarders, Intervention, Mad Men, etc, they're all waaaay too compelling.

But it's tough. I find myself constantly putting myself in the position of some of these people and it baffles me. And i feel terrible for them, their children especially. Think about if you lived in a Hoarders house. I can't imagine how hard it would be for a kid to try and lie his way out of a sleep over or something.

KID A

hey tommy, can we spend the night at your house?

KID B

.......uh, well. we're remodeling the kitchen so its a mess.

KID A

again? thats like your 4th kitchen in the last year.

KID B

mm hmm, yeah my mom can never make up her mind.

KID A

ah come on, we'll stay out of the way!

KID B

nope, we um, we actually uh, we are housing some illegal

immigrants so there isn't any room.

KID A

oh my god you're so full of it, your dad hates illegals

KID B

OK OK OK FINE!!! I'LL TELL YOU WHY YOU CAN'T

SLEEP OVER............ my mother is either lazy or crazy

and because of that our home is overflowing with dead

cats and human feces....... YA STILL WANNA SLEEP OVER?

When goats have eaten through the walls of your home..............from the outside..............and instead of herding the goats away and patching up the hole, you decide to start your own personal petting zoo............ its time to consider medication.

When going to sleep no longer involves laying on a mattress....and instead looks a lot more like a strung out Harry Potter character strapping themselves down onto a pile of garbage, shitting themselves in an adult diaper, and thanking God for the invention of the Snuggie........ its time to consider taking all of that medication at once.